Posted on December 6, 2009 - by Tim L
Living Christmas,….in the bedroom
The Bridge group sang “Love is all around us,…..” by Wet, wet, wet
We all watched a clip from Love actually
Well, this week we are Living Christmas in the bedroom. As I was preparing for this evening earlier in the week, I was thinking about the words or themes that people might associate bedrooms with: private places, retreats, intimacy, loneliness,
Primarily they can be places of communication. A way of escaping from the children, a place to go and be quiet or still, a place to talk to a loved one without interruptions. Some might dread going there because they represent too many memories of happier times in the past.
The clip we have just seen was taken from the film Love Actually. Colin Firth and Lúcia Moniz have problems communicating with each other. On the one hand they can’t understand a word the other says, one speaks in English and the other in Portuguese. And yet on the other hand they seem to communicate very well. Their bodies and eyes speak another whole language above and beyond the language of speech. You don’t have to be a mind reader to realise what is going on, it is obvious how these two people feel about each other.
We all speak love but we often speak love in different languages. Do you know your own native language so that you will know if you are being loved?
I have a questionnaire for you to complete. There are 30 questions and you will be pleased to know complete with answers. All you need to do is circle the one of the two options that you prefer.
When you get to the end tot up the scores under A, B, C, D and E and see what love language is your own. If you then turn over the page that will give you some ideas of what each language is.
A couple of tips;
- Don’t have a look over the page first.
- Don’t think too hard about what you would like the answers to be.
- Try using a gut reaction.
When you have finished turn with some one close by and share with them what you have come up with. For a copy of the questionnaire five_love_languages_quiz
Now it is great that you might know your own love language. It will be one of the five languages of love;
- Words of affirmation - This is verbal appreciation or encouragement. Such as “You look great in that dress”
- Quality time - Is about focusing all of your energy on your partner.
- Receiving gifts - Some of us respond well to visual symbols of love such as flowers, tickets to a game,
- Acts of service - Doing chores around the house can be an undeniable expression of love. Finding the rubbish dealt when we get home can be a real expression of love.
- Physical touch - Is exactly what it suggests. Being held by someone in complete silence can be a very powerful expression of love.
I know for me my love language are quality time and physical touch.
When we enter into relationships with others we need to learn the language of love for another person. It might be different from our own language of love. It means you have to give up your own language of love to tell another person how much you love them. They need to hear that you love them in their own native tongue rather then your love language. You have to learn another whole language to be able to communicate with the other person and tell them that you love them. If you like it would be a Portuguese person learning English and English culture to tell and show an English person that they are loved.
Love is not about the language you want to speak but about the language and culture you need to speak so that the other person can understand that they are truly loved.
It is about putting the needs of the other person first and learning their language of love. Love will not be shared, heard, understood or received if that does not happen.
And we come to our reading this evening and you won’t be surprised to hear that the Father knows the languages of love.
26In the sixth month of Elizabeth’s pregnancy, God sent the angel Gabriel to the Galilean village of Nazareth 27to a virgin engaged to be married to a man descended from David. His name was Joseph, and the virgin’s name, Mary.
28Upon entering, Gabriel greeted her:
Good morning!
You’re beautiful with God’s beauty,
Beautiful inside and out!
God be with you.
29She was thoroughly shaken, wondering what was behind a greeting like that. 30But the angel assured her, “Mary, you have nothing to fear. God has a surprise for you: 31You will become pregnant and give birth to a son and call his name Jesus.
32He will be great,
be called ‘Son of the Highest.’
The Lord God will give him
the throne of his father David;
33He will rule Jacob’s house forever-
no end, ever, to his kingdom.”Luke 1: 26 - 33 (The Message)
It was no good God standing up there in heaven shouting from a distance his love for us. He choose to come and learn the language, he choose to come and walk amongst us, to communicate love to us a language that we would all understand.
We all watched a second clip from Love Actually
Will you learn another’s language of love this advent time?
For more information on this subject please try one of the following;