Archive for March, 2009

Posted on March 29, 2009 - by Tim L

Lent week 6 - Part 1

We began by discussing what it was that people owed and who to.  There were a rich variety of wonderful answers.  But it was fascinating that mostly what was owed was ’stuff’, money, chocolate, CD’s, there was little ‘owed’ relationally, e.g. love, hugs, time, etc.
Dr  Gary Chapman has come up with a very helpful ways of looking at the languages of love that each of us speaks.  (Go to  http://www.fivelovelanguages.com/learn.html)
They are;

1. Words of affirmation
2. Quality time
3. Receiving gifts
4. Acts of service
5. Physical touch

Please go and explore on the website to discover what your own language of love is or have a look at the excerpt below taken from the website.  What is really interesting that we discover we ‘owe’ many people relationally. But the only way we can repay them is not in our own language but by learning to ’speak’ in theirs!  You see if I speak only German and you speak only English it will be difficult for us to communicate with each other effectively.  It won’t matter how much we ‘owe’ we can’t repay it, but if you learn another language, the love language of the other person, and use their language to talk to them then you will be able to communicate effectively with them!

Words of Affirmation

Mark Twain once said “I can live for two months on a good compliment.”  Verbal appreciation speaks powerfully to persons whose primary Love Language is “Words of Affirmation.”  Simple statements, such as, “You look great in that suit,” or “You must be the best baker in the world! I love your oatmeal cookies,” are sometimes all a person needs to hear to feel loved.
Aside from verbal compliments, another way to communicate through “Words of Affirmation” is to offer encouragement.  Here are some examples: reinforcing a difficult decision; calling attention to progress made on a current project; acknowledging a person’s unique perspective on an important topic. If a loved one listens for “Words of Affirmation,” offering encouragement will help him or her to overcome insecurities and develop greater confidence.

Quality Time

Quality time is more than mere proximity. It’s about focusing all your energy on your mate. A husband watching sports while talking to his wife is NOT quality time. Unless all of your attention is focused on your mate, even an intimate dinner for two can come and go without a minute of quality time being shared.
Quality conversation is very important in a healthy relationship. It involves sharing experiences, thoughts, feelings and desires in a friendly, uninterrupted context. A good mate will not only listen, but offer advice and respond to assure their mate they are truly listening. Many mates don’t expect you to solve their problems. They need a sympathetic listener.
An important aspect of quality conversation is self-revelation. In order for you to communicate with your mate, you must also be in tune with your inner emotions. It is only when you understand your emotions and inner feelings will you then be able to share quality conversation, and quality time with your mate.
Quality activities are a very important part of quality time. Many mates feel most loved when they spend physical time together, doing activities that they love to do. Spending time together will bring a couple closer, and, in the years to come, will fill up a memory bank that you can reminisce about in the future.
Whether it’s sitting on the couch and having a brief conversation or playing together in a tennis league, quality time is a love language that is shared by many. Setting aside focused time with your mate will ensure a happy marriage.

Receiving Gifts

Some mates respond well to visual symbols of love. If you speak this love language, you are more likely to treasure any gift as an expression of love and devotion. People who speak this love language often feel that a lack of gifts represents a lack of love from their mate. Luckily, this love language is one of the easiest to learn.
If you want to become an effective gift giver, many mates will have to learn to change their attitude about money. If you are naturally a spender, you will have no trouble buying gifts for your mate. However, a person who is used to investing and saving their money may have a tough time adjusting to the concept of spending money as an expression of love. These people must understand that you are investing the money not in gifts, but in deepening your relationship with your mate.
The gift of self is an important symbol of love. Sometimes all your mate desires is for someone to be there for them, going through the same trials and experiencing the same things. Your body can become a very powerful physical symbol of love.
These gifts need not to come every day, or even every week. They don’t even need to cost a lot of money. Free, frequent, expensive, or rare, if your mate relates to the language of receiving gifts, any visible sign of your love will leave them feeling happy and secure in your relationship.

Acts of Service

Sometimes simple chores around the house can be an undeniable expression of love. Even simple things like laundry and taking out the trash require some form of planning, time, effort, and energy. Just as Jesus demonstrated when he washed the feet of his disciples, doing humble chores can be a very powerful expression of love and devotion to your mate.
Very often, both pairs in a couple will speak to the Acts of Service Language. However, it is very important to understand what acts of service your mate most appreciates. Even though couples are helping each other around the house, couples will still fight because the are unknowingly communicating with each other in two different dialects. For example, a wife may spend her day washing the cars and walking the dog, but if her husband feels that laundry and dishes are a superior necessity, he may feel unloved, despite the fact that his wife did many other chores throughout the day. It is important to learn your mate’s dialect and work hard to understand what acts of service will show your love.
It is important to do these acts of service out of love and not obligation. A mate who does chores and helps out around the house out of guilt or fear will inevitably not be speaking a language of love, but a language of resentment. It’s important to perform these acts out of the kindness of your heart.
Demonstrating the acts of service can mean stepping out of the stereotypes. Acts of service require both mates to humble themselves into doing some chores and services that aren’t usually expected from their gender. However, these little sacrifices will mean the world to your mate, and will ensure a happy relationship.

Physical Touch

Many mates feel the most loved when they receive physical contact from their partner. For a mate who speaks this love language loudly, physical touch can make or break the relationship.
Sexual intercourse makes many mates feel secure and loved in a marriage. However, it is only one dialect of physical touch. Many parts of the body are extremely sensitive to stimulation. It is important to discover how your partner not only physically responds but also psychologically responds to these touches.
It is important to learn how your mate speaks the physical touch language. Some touches are irritating and uncomfortable for your mate. Take the time to learn the touches your mate likes. They can be big acts, such as back massages or lovemaking, or little acts such as touches on the cheek or a hand on the shoulder. It’s important to learn how your mate responds to touch. That is how you will make the most of this love language.
All marriages will experience crisis. In these cases, physical touch is very important. In a crisis situation, a hug can communicate an immense amount of love for that person. A person whose primary love language is physical touch would much rather have you hold them and be silent than offer any advice.
It is important to remember that this love language is different for everyone. What type of touch makes you feel secure is not necessarily what will make your partner happy. It is important to learn each other’s dialects. That way you can make the most of your hugging, kissing, and other physical contacts.

(Taken from http://www.fivelovelanguages.com/learn.html)

Posted on March 29, 2009 - by Tim L

Lent week 6 - Part 2

Bible reading
¹At the end of every seventh year, cancel all debts.  ²This is the procedure: Everyone who has lent money to a neighbor writes it off. You must not press your neighbor or his brother for payment: All-Debts-Are-Canceled-God says so.  ³You may collect payment from foreigners, but whatever you have lent to your fellow Israelite you must write off.
⁴There must be no poor people among you because God is going to bless you lavishly in this land that God, your God, is giving you as an inheritance, your very own land.  ⁵But only if you listen obediently to the Voice of God, your God, diligently observing every commandment that I command you today.  ⁶Oh yes-God, your God, will bless you just as he promised. You will lend to many nations but won’t borrow from any; you’ll rule over many nations but none will rule over you.
⁷When you happen on someone who’s in trouble or needs help among your people with whom you live in this land that God, your God, is giving you, don’t look the other way pretending you don’t see him. Don’t keep a tight grip on your purse.  ⁸No. Look at him, open your purse, lend whatever and as much as he needs.  ⁹Don’t count the cost. Don’t listen to that selfish voice saying, “It’s almost the seventh year, the year of All-Debts-Are-Canceled,” and turn aside and leave your needy neighbor in the lurch, refusing to help him. He’ll call God’s attention to you and your blatant sin.
¹⁰Give freely and spontaneously. Don’t have a stingy heart. The way you handle matters like this triggers God, your God’s, blessing in everything you do, all your work and ventures.  ¹¹There are always going to be poor and needy people among you. So I command you: Always be generous, open purse and hands, give to your neighbors in trouble, your poor and hurting neighbors.
For that reason, this day I command you to do this.

Deuteronomy 15: 1-11 (The Message)

Talk
Can anyone ever remember saving up to buy something?

Mortgages, credit cards, hp (hire purchase), student loans, store cards, quarterly bills, extend the overdraft,

As a nation we accumulate more personal debt than our European cousins.  The total in 2006 was £1.2 trillion according to the Consumer credit Council.  The number of families and individuals who are unable to keep up with their credit commitments is steadily rising.  And it is accelerating with the present economic crisis.

World wide debt is Total debt continues to rise, despite ever-increasing payments, while aid is falling. For example:
The developing world now spends $13 on debt repayment for every $1 it receives in grants.
For the poorest countries (approximately 60), $550 billion has been paid in both principal and interest over the last three decades, on $540bn of loans, and yet there is still a $523 billion dollar debt burden.
Debt kills. Some 11 million children die each year around the world, due to conditions of poverty and debt.

ON the BBC website on 17^th Feb US President Barack Obama has signed into law a slimmed-down economic stimulus plan worth about $787bn (£548bn) aimed at boosting the US economy.
The signing came after weeks of political wrangling which saw the original bill altered by Congress.
Its passage into law followed warnings from the president that the US could face an economic disaster if radical action was not taken.

G20 summit takes place in London on 2^nd April. 20 countries representing 85% of the world economy will meet to discuss the present financial climate.

Some of you might remember the Jubilee 2000 Debt campaign?  That campaign still goes in,  This is where it comes from?  Deut 15

This is an expansion of the 10 commandments. It is a fleshing out of the bones to put some skin and muscles on the body.

Debts were settled every seven years.  The debtor was released from the debt.  But this is more than just financial acumen.  I wonder what would happen if you suggested this to the G20 leaders on Thursday?
No this goes much deeper than money and

“The intention of this command is the maintenance of the viable community and the protection of the dignity of each of it’s members. They are more important to this community of obedience than is the flat, stark reality of an economic transaction”

This is freedom and not slavery.  What would be the point of escaping from Egypt where you had to make bricks day after day in the scorching sun for the pharaoh?  Moses lead the Israelites out of Egypt, out of slavery, God helped them to escape.  Why be sold into slavery all over again and be crippled by debt?

How would you feel if your were released from your debt?  What would you do with the £ remaining?
What would it be like to have your debt wiped clean?

Where there is a will there is a way.  Developing countries debt is about $550 billion.  The USA have just agreed a programme of economic stimulus worth $787bn.  Why did they not cancel the debt first?
Because they enslave others, just like you and I do.  Just like the present economic way the world is made.

Posted on March 24, 2009 - by Tim L

Easter gifts and books

The Vine Christian bookshop will be at the Bridge on Sunday 29th March with a special focus on Easter.  Bring some cash, or a cheque book, to buy books, cards, gifts or place your orders.

Posted on March 22, 2009 - by Tim L

Lent week 5 - An issue of gender

The audience were shown the youtube clip http://pop.youtube.com/watch?v=zGHC4zBLje4

We are now in week 5 of Lent - that special time of the year when we try to walk closely with God as we wait for Easter Sunday.  To do that some of us have been following these little booklets - any stories to tell!

Well this week there are some new challenges to face so take a look at the next two slides and have a think about which one you might want to try this week.  Even if you haven’t joined in with the previous weeks it doesn’t mean you can’t start now.  The idea is for each one of us doing the 40 days of Lent to build better and friendlier communities by showing God’s love in these really small and practical ways.   Now turn and tell your neighbour.

Choose just one from the list below;

• Show an adult how to do something they can’t do
• Plant some seeds where the flowers will be seen
• Have a conversation with someone older than you
• Lend a friend a good book/CD/DVD or game
• Find out about children in a developing country that you haven’t heard of
• Say a prayer for someone who is unwell or in need
• Offer to babysit for friends
• Give blood
• Buy something that is in season from a local shop

Now forgive me I’m not being biased but it is reported by the United Nations that women make up half of the worlds population, perform 66% of the world’s work, produce half of the world’s food, receive less than 5% of its income and own less than 1% of the world’s property.  Now in the world we live we may not see this, as clearly as it is easier for women in Europe.  In some parts of the world though women are very much second class and even in our country sometimes it can be very difficult for women to do the things they want to.

So although its Mothers day today this evening we are going to make it Women’s day instead.  Throughout the evening I’m going to ask four people to come and share something about a woman who has a big influence on their lives.  We’re also going to think about the way in which God made us and then think about how the influence that women can have on us is part of the picture of true community that God intended.

WHAT’S GOOD ABOUT HAVING A MUM
One of the best things for me is on that very, very, rare time I misbehave, my mum will still put her arms around me give me a big hug and tell me she loves me.  It’s also good to come home from school knowing that I have a meal to eat, a warm house and a clean bed to sleep in.  It’s good having a mum because when I get back from football and throw my dirty kit in the corner, next time I want it it’s clean and put away in my room.  Mum is always there to help with any problems or homework and if she can’t help, she finds me someone who can.  Mum has fun with us, buys us things, welcomes our friends into our house and when we are poorly she puts her arms around us and makes us better.  But the best thing about having a mum is at night before we go to bed mum puts her arms around us and tells us how much she loves us and we tell mum we love her too.
Adam Sexton, 10 years old

Jesus told them a story showing that it was necessary for them to pray consistently and never quit.  He said, “There was once a judge in some city who never gave God a thought and cared nothing for people.  A widow in that city kept after him: ‘My rights are being violated. Protect me!’
“He never gave her the time of day. But after this went on and on he said to himself, ‘I care nothing what God thinks, even less what people think.  But because this widow won’t quit badgering me, I’d better do something and see that she gets justice-otherwise I’m going to end up beaten black and blue by her pounding.’”  Then the Master said, “Do you hear what that judge, corrupt as he is, is saying?  So what makes you think God won’t step in and work justice for his chosen people, who continue to cry out for help?  Won’t he stick up for them? I assure you, he will. He will not drag his feet. But how much of that kind of persistent faith will the Son of Man find on the earth when he returns
Luke 18: 1-8 (The Message)

Activities - The widow was at a disadvantage, that’s why superheroes always have some kind of special powers or influence - the audience were invited to build their own superhero.

Success comes not just in traditional ways, money, promotion, sporting success, we have heard from four people and their thoughts on four people who have been influential on them.
What made them influential?
What barriers did they have to overcome?
What sacrifices?

God works through men and women, girls and boys.  Sometimes the world we live in can make one half of those voices almost impossible to hear.  There are many women in the world who are doing their best to get themselves heard.  In their own ways they are superheroes.  The women we have heard of this evening are all superheroes in the way they have been able to influence others.  All of the women in the room tonight have the chance to do that so would the men and boys hand out Heroes chocolates to every woman in the room.  Sorry guys but you now how it feels to be part of the 1% of women who own property.

Posted on March 15, 2009 - by Tim L

Lent week 4 - Sticks and stones

We watched a Youtube clip -called Hotel Rwanda about the film of the same name detailing the genocide in Rwanda in 1994 (Go to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EqQfZoUirCE&feature=related)

“Take a good look at my servant. I’m backing him to the hilt. He’s the one I chose, and I couldn’t be more pleased with him. I’ve bathed him with my Spirit, my life. He’ll set everything right among the nations.   He won’t call attention to what he does with loud speeches or gaudy parades.   He won’t brush aside the bruised and the hurt and he won’t disregard the small and insignificant, but he’ll steadily and firmly set things right.  He won’t tire out and quit. He won’t be stopped until he’s finished his work-to set things right on earth. Far-flung ocean islands wait expectantly for his teaching.”
Isaiah 42: 1-4 (The Message)

Jesus was placed before the governor, who questioned him: “Are you the ‘King of the Jews’?” Jesus said, “If you say so.”  But when the accusations rained down hot and heavy from the high priests and religious leaders, he said nothing.  Pilate asked him, “Do you hear that long list of accusations? Aren’t you going to say something?”  Jesus kept silence-not a word from his mouth. The governor was impressed, really impressed.  It was an old custom during the Feast for the governor to pardon a single prisoner named by the crowd.   At the time, they had the infamous Jesus Barabbas in prison.  With the crowd before him, Pilate said, “Which prisoner do you want me to pardon: Jesus Barabbas, or Jesus the so-called Christ?  He knew it was through sheer spite that they had turned Jesus over to him.
Matthew 27:11-18 (The Message)

It is reported that between 15 and 20000 people are killed every year by unexploded landmines.  The global movement of people across borders and around counties is huge, the total of displaced people around the world is 25 million.  About 300 000 children under the age of 10 are directly involved in armed conflicts.
“Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me”
Have you ever said it yourself?  Why?  What was going on at the time?  Have you ever been able to keep quiet in the face of taunts and name calling, or even of accusations being made against you?
When is it right to keep silent, like Jesus did in front of Pilate?  When is it right to speak out, take your life into your own hands as the hotelier Paul Rusesabagina did in the 1994 during the Rwandan genocide when about a million people were murdered?
When to speak? when to keep quiet? Do you ever have that problem?
When we have just sung that we ask for the words of our mouths, the deeds of our day to speak of Jesus.  How do we do that?
The passage from Matthew is all about confrontation and conflict.  Jesus was in front of Pilate, the Roman Governor, because the Pharisees, the religious leaders, believed that Jesus disrespected the Law and the moral tradition they thought was vital for Jews to uphold.  The accusations came thick and fast but Jesus remained silent.
The irony is that if Jesus had kept his mouth shut he would never have been here in the first place. He would not have upset the Pharisees and wouldn’t have to be quiet in front of Pilate.
Pilate was impressed with Jesus’ silence.  It leaves me with a question Is Pilate the right man to impress?  Who was also impressed with Jesus?
I once stood in a car park waiting to pay for my ticket when two men came and joined the queue behind me.  One of them was smoking; there was a big sign on the wall asking people not to smoke.  What would you do?  What did I do?  I said something. I was greeted with a torrent of abuse.  I will now think twice, before speaking but should I?
Jesus meets the Pharisees’ intolerance and prejudice with courage and quiet determination.  He does the same with Pilate allowing him to wrestle with the question of his identity themselves.
Jesus promised persecution and conflict and equipped his disciples to respond as Isaiah states:

Don;t call attention to what you do with loud speeches or gaudy parades. Don’t brush aside the bruised and the hurt and don’t disregard the small and insignificant, but steadily and firmly set things right. Don’t tire out and quit. Don’t be stopped until the work is finished -to set things right on earth.

Lets start today.

Posted on March 12, 2009 - by Tim L

Lent week 3

We are now about to start the third week of lent and we looking at our series called Love Life, Live Lent.  Love Life Live Lent is a new way of marking Lent. Instead of giving up chocolate or going on a detox, it encourages people to undertake a simple act of generosity each day. The actions are small and fun to do, but make a real difference in homes, families and communities.

There are times when we want to make a difference but we fail at the first hurdle because we don’t plan it, we are intentional. Now there are 10 items to choose from.  You might want to do them as a whole family, you might choose to do one yourself.  No matter, now is the time to do that planning.

Choose just one from the list below;

• Don’t watch TV or play on the computer - do something with your family
• Make sure you say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ all day
• Find out about the countries where your clothes are made
• Read a story to a younger child
• Half the world lives on £1.40 a day - can you?
• Limit yourself to checking e-mails/texts only once per day
• Use a ‘buy one get one free’ and give one away
• Walk or cycle a route you would normally drive
• Spend five minutes quietly by yourself
• Save trees - use both sides of the paper

What have you chosen?
When are you going to it?
Come and write what and who you are going to do on the sheets of paper around the room.
Be prepared to share your stories, experiences, on line at www.thebridgeonline.co.uk or next week here at the Bridge

Posted on March 8, 2009 - by Tim L

Love Life Live Lent - the water of life

We are now about to start the third week of lent and we looking at our series called Love Life, Live Lent.  Love Life Live Lent is a new way of marking Lent. Instead of giving up chocolate or going on a detox, it encourages people to undertake a simple act of generosity each day. The actions are small and fun to do, but make a real difference in homes, families and communities

Love Life Live Lent began in Birmingham in 2006 and since then over 250,000 people nationwide have participated. The new Love Life Live Lent booklets feature the best actions from the previous two years’ booklets and the Love Life Live Lent Family Book includes the actions for both adults and kids, plus fascinating Lent and Easter facts, activities, recipes and prayers.

Lent is the Christian season that takes us from the end of winter through to Easter and is linked to the time when Jesus went for 40 days without food in the desert. It is a reminder that Jesus went through suffering to make him stronger and more trusting in Father God.

Many people ‘fast’ during Lent, which means giving up food for a day or sometimes many days.  The aim is to help use time and energy thinking about God, and to become cleaned out and pure.  The beginning of Lent is marked by Shrove Tuesday. This was the day when everyone used up their best and richest food such as eggs and fat, to prepare for 40 days of limited, mini-meals! Hence the pancakes.

The modern version of Lent encourages us to give things up so that we have more time to concentrate on Jesus. It is a good thing to get our bodies cleaned up, which is why many people give up sweets or drinking at this time of year.  But Lent is about allowing God to clean us up too.  Some people do really good things during Lent to make a difference to others, or to change the world. That’s what ‘Love life, Live lent’ is all about!

An Irish proverb says - you never miss the water until the well has run dry.

As part of Lent we are wanting to both examine our walk with God and also how that influences our walk in the world.  Our focus for tonight is “water”.

Water - something we tale for granted, life becomes complicated when its turned off for repairs or there’s a water shortage.  Something we face increasingly as climate change begins to impact the way we live.  But its not just us - in fact climate change is likely to impact on the developing world more severely.

We have to find a way to tie the practical and the spiritual together we can’t focus on one to the detriment of the other.  So with the reality of the world ringing in our ears lets turn to the Bible and see if it can help us bring our walk with God together with how we walk in this world.

When a Samaritan woman came to draw water, Jesus said to her,
“Will you give me a drink?”
The Samaritan woman said to him, “You are a Jew and I am a Samaritan woman. How can you ask me for a drink?”
Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water.”
“Sir,” the woman said, “you have nothing to draw with and the well is deep. Where can you get this living water?”
Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”
The woman said to him, “Sir, give me this water so that I won’t get thirsty and have to keep coming here to draw water.”

John 4;7-15 (The Message)

A meditation - water of life
We’re just going to spend some time focussing on the last part of that reading.  It will be left on the screen for you to refer back to you as you need.  I’ll lead us through this meditation on a different kind of water or maybe it’s all the same thing.

Make yourself comfortable, think about your breathing, quiet your body and your mind and I’ll read that last slide again, as I do is there a key phrase or aspect that registers with you, stay with that as I read the passage.  There’ll be time as I finish reading to follow that connection, it may be the words, it may be an image that it conjures, stay with it in the silence.  If the passage doesn’t do that just pick a short phrase and repeat it again and again in your mind in the quiet.  Or you may prefer to picture yourself standing by the well with Jesus speaking these words to you put your name into the dialogue and let God continue the encounter in your imagination.

Read last slide again - wait!
I’ll read the last slide for a final time - this time allow that particular phrase, image or encounter to turn you to prayer.  Its not complicated allow your mind/imagination to talk with God and to hear from God.  You may feel like you are doing nothing that’s fine, you are waiting, receiving, but not being idle.

Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”
The woman said to him, “Sir, give me this water so that I won’t get thirsty and have to keep coming here to draw water.”

Read last slide again - wait!

Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”
The woman said to him, “Sir, give me this water so that I won’t get thirsty and have to keep coming here to draw water.”

There is an opportunity to talk about the meditation at the end of the presentation