The Best 60 Minutes – (5) Learning to Let Go

I reckon letting go is a part of life.

 

When a baby is born it is totally dependent upon it’s parents – Life then seems to be about becoming independent of parents from that from very first total dependency.

 Coming off milk and learning to feed yourself  - is a form of letting go.

Learning to walk – without the aid of a walker involves letting go.

I remember my parents letting me go.  I went off to University and learned to stand on my own 2 feet. I had to do my own washing cooking, money management, the lot. It was hard.  I remember that you never booked the washing machines after the rugby team otherwise your clothes came out dirtier than when they first went in.  I often give thanks that my Mum and Dad let me go.  It was one of the most important gifts they gave me.  It was hard for them, it involved a lot of letters and phone calls during that first year at college. But they knew, they knew as parents that they had to let me go,..

Marriage is all about letting go. It says in Genesis that a mother will leave her family and the husband and wife will become one.  Both parties are involved in letting go.

 

Sometimes letting go is about losing control, losing control over a possession as you lend it to a brother, system or neighbour; letting go of a child as they grow up and want to learn more independence, letting go of a habit which damages you,    

 

The flip side of the coin is about trust.  Sometimes we will not let go because we do not trust, we worry about what will happen if we do let go…

 

Have a look at this…Video:  Mr. Worry

 

 

What do people leave behind?

 

They spent some time in Jericho. As Jesus was leaving town, trailed by his disciples and a parade of people, a blind beggar by the name of Bartimaeus, son of Timaeus, was sitting alongside the road. When he heard that Jesus the Nazarene was passing by, he began to cry out, “Son of David, Jesus! Mercy, have mercy on me!” Many tried to hush him up, but he yelled all the louder, “Son of David! Mercy, have mercy on me!”

Jesus stopped in his tracks. “Call him over.”

They called him. “It’s your lucky day! Get up! He’s calling you to come!” Throwing off his coat, he was on his feet at once and came to Jesus. Jesus said, “What can I do for you?”

The blind man said, “Rabbi, I want to see.”

 “On your way,” said Jesus. “Your faith has saved and healed you.”

In that very instant he recovered his sight and followed Jesus down the road.

Mark 10: 46-52 (The Message)

 

The woman took the hint and left. In her confusion she left her water pot. Back in the village she told the people, “Come see a man who knew all about the things I did, who knows me inside and out. Do you think this could be the Messiah?” And they went out to see for themselves.

John 4: 28-29 (The Message)

 

Matthew 9:20 – 21 (The Message)

 

Jesus was at Bethany, a guest of Simon the Leper. While he was eating dinner, a woman came up carrying a bottle of very expensive perfume. Opening the bottle, she poured it on his head. Some of the guests became furious among themselves. “That’s criminal! A sheer waste! This perfume could have been sold for well over a year’s wages and handed out to the poor.” They swelled up in anger, nearly bursting with indignation over her.

Mark 14: 3-5 (The Message)

 

Not long after that, Jesus went to the village Nain. His disciples were with him, along with quite a large crowd. As they approached the village gate, they met a funeral procession—a woman’s only son was being carried out for burial. And the mother was a widow. When Jesus saw her, his heart broke. He said to her, “Don’t cry.” Then he went over and touched the coffin. The pallbearers stopped. He said, “Young man, I tell you: Get up.” The dead son sat up and began talking. Jesus presented him to his mother.

Luke 7:11-15 (The Message)

 

Peter tried to regain some initiative: “We left everything we owned and followed you, didn’t we?” “Yes,” said Jesus, “and you won’t regret it. No one who has sacrificed home, spouse, brothers and sisters, parents, children—whatever— will lose out. It will all come back multiplied many times over in your lifetime. And then the bonus of eternal life!”

Luke 18:28-30 (The Message)

 

 

THE THINGS WE LEAVE BEHIND

 

There sits Simon, foolish and wise.

Proudly he’s tending his nets.

Jesus calls and the boats drift away.

And all that he owns he forgets.

But more than the nets he abandoned that day,

 He found that his pride was soon fading away.

It’d hard to imagine the freedom we find.

From the things we leave behind.

 

The sightless beggar, pleading each day,

Catching the coins in his robe.

At finding Jesus he threw it away

And joyfully followed his Lord.

But more than the robe that he left by the way,

The darkness that dwelt in hid heart went away.

It’d hard to imagine the freedom we find

From the thing we leave behind.

 

Matthew was mindful of taking the tax

And pressing the people to pay.

At hearing the call he responded in failh

And followed the Light and the Way.

And leaving the people so puzzled he found

That the greed in hid heart was no lonqer around

It’s hard to imagine the freedom we find

From the things we leave behind.

 

Taken from Reflections on the life of Christ by Michael Card

 

I sometimes have a picture in my head, it is almost a vision that reoccurs: I see a path disappearing in the distance. Either side is strewn with various objects: a cloak…a cane…an expensive car, the door left open, the keys still in the ignition. The list is endless. The objects represent things people have left behind to follow Jesus. In the vision I keep looking for things I have left behind for His sake.

 

Almost everyone who follows Jesus in the New Testament leaves something behind for His sake. Simon and the other disciples who were fishermen left their nets and boats. James and John, the sons of Zebedee, left their father In the process as well as a prosperous family business. Archaeologists tell us they have uncovered a fish market, a “branch office” in Jerusalem that belonged to Zebedee (perhaps the first store in a chain called, “Captain Zee’s?”).

Matthew left behind an even more lucrative business, tax gathering. Not only do I see his tax booth abandoned alongside my visionary path, I see a pile of money on it. Once Matthew left his wealth to follow Jesus we never hear him mention money or power again!

Others left things behind after they encountered Jesus:-

·         The blind beggar, who used his cloak to gather the coins he begged, jumped up and left the cloak lying there after Jesus gave him his sight.

·         The woman at the well ran off and forgot her water jar once she was confronted by this man who told her “everything she had ever done:’

·         The woman who suffered from continual bleeding left a long line of doctors behind.  The son of the widow of Nain left an empty coffin lying there by the city gate. 

·         The sinful woman left behind an empty alabaster perfume jar.  

·         Lazarus, perhaps most miraculous of all, left behind a pile of grave clothes and an empty tomb.

 

You can go on and on. The farther down the path you get, the higher the possessions piled on either side. With each object the travelers left behind, and leave behind, a small piece of themselves, because a possession isn’t a little something you own, as much as something that owns a little bit of you. We leave behind a part of our old self.  In return for whatever small thing we discard Jesus gives us a part of Himself in exchange. With Him is great freedom from those things we leave behind, freedom from that greatest self-possessing possession, our “self.”

 

Let go…

 

The Best 60 minutes – (4) The Magic of Traditions

 

Bible Reading – Luke 22: 14-23 (The Message)

 

When it was time, (Jesus) sat down, all the apostles with him, and said, “You’ve no idea how much I have looked forward to eating this Passover meal with you before I enter my time of suffering. It’s the last one I’ll eat until we all eat it together in the kingdom of God. Taking the cup, he blessed it, then said, “Take this and pass it among you. As for me, I’ll not drink wine again until the kingdom of God arrives.”

Taking bread, he blessed it, broke it, and gave it to them, saying, “This is my body, given for you. Eat it in my memory.” He did the same with the cup after supper, saying, “This cup is the new covenant written in my blood, blood poured out for you. “Do you realize that the hand of the one who is betraying me is at this moment on this table? It’s true that the Son of Man is going down a path already marked out—no surprises there. But for the one who turns him in, turns traitor to the Son of Man, this is doomsday.” They immediately became suspicious of each other and began quizzing one another, wondering who might be about to do this.

 

………………………………………………………………………………………………….

 

 

Video: Peter Kay Live – the family wedding

 

 

 

 

This week we’re looking at the magic of traditions.  Our opening clip probably brings many memories of family events or parties that you have been too.  We get away with things in our families that we might not elsewhere.  We can act the fool, be the comedian, there might be a slight feeling of embarrassment as we tell someone else about it.  There’s silliness and hassle, and sometimes they don’t make sense.  But they connect us to each other. They help us to belong. This evening we are going to explore what traditions are helpful for us as the family of the Bridge.

 

All age Match the traditions to the Bridge family game

 

§  “When I was younger every year on Christmas morning my mum and dad always made us have breakfast before we open our present and every year they would lock the living room door and hide the key so after breakfast we then had to go looking for the key before we could open the present this happen for many years”. 

§  “We always have a cooked breakfast Christmas morning but we open our presents first.”

§  “We have a particular meal and champagne every Christmas eve every year that we don’t have any other time of year. We also open some presents on Christmas eve.”

§  “We get to choose what takeaway we have on our birthdays.”

§  “We have a cooked breakfast every Saturday morning.”

§  “When we go to Wales on holiday we have particular walks that we do, and try and go down to the local beach the first night we arrive altogether.”

§  “On family movie nights we have duvets on the sofa, projector screen on, and snacks

§  “My wife and I have 2 children, have been married for a long time and we still have a date night every week.”

§  “At one time we always kept our best clothes for Sundays and I still tend to keep my newest clothes to wear to church”.

 

Video 2 – Over the Hedge – Hero realises he does want to belong to a family of woodland creatures

Activity time the glue that connects us together – Creating a Bridge family shield.

Draw a picture of a special time for the Bridge family.

  • What things do we do well together?
  • What would you like to change about this family?
  • What are the good things about belonging to this family?
  • Choose words to describe the bridge family?

 

 

 

The Best 60 Minutes Ever – (2) Time to Catch Up

THE ROAD TO EMMAUS

 

Now that same day two of them were going to a village called Emmaus, about seven miles from Jerusalem. They were talking with each other about everything that had happened. As they talked and discussed these things with each other, Jesus himself came up and walked along with them; but they were kept from recognizing him.

 

He asked them, “What are you discussing together as you walk along?”

 

They stood still, their faces downcast. One of them, named Cleopas, asked him, “Are you only a visitor to Jerusalem and do not know the things that happened there in these days?”

 

“What things?” he asked.

 

“About Jesus of Nazareth,” they replied.

“He was a prophet, powerful in word and deed before God and all the people. The chief priests and our rulers handed him over to be sentenced to death, and they crucified him; but we had hoped that he was the one who was going to redeem Israel. And what is more, it is the third day since all this took place. In addition, some of our women amazed us. They went to the tomb early this morning but didn’t find his body. They came and told us that they had seen a vision of angels, who said he was alive. Then some of our companions went to the tomb and found it just as the women had said, but him they did not see.”

 

He said to them, “How foolish you are, and slow of heart to believe all that the prophets have spoken! Did not the Messiah have to suffer these things and then enter his glory?” And beginning with Moses and all the Prophets, he explained to them what was said in all the Scriptures concerning himself.

 

As they approached the village to which they were going, Jesus acted as if he were going farther. But they urged him strongly,

“Stay with us, for it is nearly evening; the day is almost over.”

So he went to stay with them.

 

When he was at the table with them, he took bread, gave thanks, broke it and began to give it to them. Then their eyes were opened and they recognized him, and he disappeared from their sight. They asked each other,

 

“Were not our hearts burning within us while he talked with us on the road and opened the Scriptures to us?”

 

They got up and returned at once to Jerusalem. There they found the Eleven and those with them, assembled together and saying

“It is true! The Lord has risen and appeared to Simon.”

Then the two told what had happened on the way, and how Jesus was recognized by them when he broke the bread.

 

Luke 24:13-35 (NIV)

 

SOMETIMES THE PRESSURE GETS TOO MUCH + WE HAVE TO GET AWAY FROM THE CENTRE OF THINGS TO GET SOME TIME TO THINK

 

I don’t know about you, but I know there have been times in my life when I just wanted to get out of the stress and pressure of circumstances as quickly as possible and get some fresh air; to go somewhere quiet and give me a bit of time and space to think.

 

As we listen to this story we hear about two disciples trying to get out of Jerusalem quickly. They turn their backs on the community of disciples they had spent the last few years of their lives with and head out for the countryside. We get the sense that they too needed time to reflect on what had happened in the previous few days. Or maybe they were just scared, frightened of what the Pharisees might do to the disciples of the charismatic figure they had just murdered. Whatever their reasons they had decided to move away from the hotspot of pressure and give their selves some time to think.

 

JESUS’ DISCIPLES DIDN’T TRAVEL ALONE

 

It’s interesting because they didn’t travel alone. Jesus earlier in his ministry had sent the disciples out in twos and maybe these two had become friends during their preaching missions in Judea. But the significance is they weren’t on their own they went together with their spiritual friend. God didn’t intend for us to be alone, especially in times of crisis and trouble. We need our spiritual friends.

 

GOD CAME UP TO THEM WHEN THEY WERE MOST DISHEARTENED

 

 

‘Jesus himself came up and walked along with them; but they were kept from recognising him.’

 

How often in our bleak times, does Jesus walk beside us and yet we are kept from recognising him?

 In times of confusion God can seem very far away and yet perhaps that is the time when he is right beside us, but we can’t see him. I think this is a wonderful passage because it shows us that God is besides us when we are most downcast, when the situation seems impossible to overcome, then as we travel to escape the pressure Jesus comes and looks for us. Suddenly, we are not alone there is one more travelling with us.

 

LISTENING TO OTHER PEOPLE FIRST

 

What I love about this passage is that Jesus let’s the disciples tell their own story.

 

‘He asked them, “What are you discussing together as you walk along?”

 

Does a man who is raised from the dead need to be told what his own disciples are talking about?

 Does a supernatural human who can disguise his appearance from his friends need to be filled in on the story? No, but Jesus asks the disciples to TELL…

 their story,

their worries,

their confusion

 …and in doing so he brings out their mixture of faith and disappointment.

 He allows them to articulate their own pain.

 

So, often when we are in pain we need someone who will listen to our side of the story. We need someone who will listen TO US?! And that’s what Jesus does, he begins the healing process of storytelling by asking them to pour out their pain and that’s what they do. One of them says:

 

“He was a prophet, powerful in word and deed before God and all the people. The chief priests and our rulers handed him over to be sentenced to death, and they crucified him; but we had hoped that he was the one who was going to redeem Israel.”

 

‘…but we had hoped…’

 

Those words echo so much pain and disappointment.

 They had hoped,

They had given their hearts and their souls to a man who they thought was destined to overturn the tables of injustice in the world and save God’s people Israel,

 …but how harshly they had been disappointed

 …and yet they were sure they hadn’t been deceived.

 

In our lives too WE can become tainted by disappointment and failure. The circumstances of life can press in on our precious faith and security until it breaks. Suddenly, what he had hoped for appears a cynical illusion and our hearts at one time filled with hope become clouded with pain and loss.

 

 

NEW STORIES OF HOPE

 And yet their shattering of dreams at the crucifixion was not all.

 There were also these new stories abounding…

…that the tomb was empty…

 

…sightings of angels…

 

…and claims that Jesus was alive.

 

 

How could this be true after all that had happened?

Were they now being asked to hope again? Hope against hope.

 

 

JESUS’ RESPONSE – SUFFERING WAS ALWAYS PART OF THE PLAN

 

Jesus’ response to the disciples seems a little harsh…but perhaps from his perspective he was just bursting at the seems to open their eyes to the good news of what had happened. I think Jesus was just longing to cry out: “Don’t you realise this is everything that was meant to happen?! The Messiah was meant to suffer before he would enter into glory!”

 

The disciples don’t understand – the circumstances of the world, the facts of what they saw have clouded their vision and the far off dreams of a place of future glory have perished in the storm. They don’t understand the story, so Jesus tells them the story again, this time taking it from the beginning.

 

‘And beginning with Moses and all the Prophets, he explained to them what was said in all the Scriptures concerning himself.’

 

 

I don’t know about you, but that’s one story-time I would have loved to have listened in to. That’s one walk I would love to have been a part of. Perhaps when we get to heaven we’ll be able to hear that story again and find out just what the scriptures were saying about the Messiah from Jesus’ mouth, but for the moment we can only make an educated guess.

 

JESUS RE-TELLS THE JEWISH STORY OF IDENTITY

But what Jesus does is a skilful re-telling of the disciples’ basic story. They had the same Scriptures as Jesus, 

…they were Jews,

 …but they hadn’t grasped the meaning of what was going on.

 

DISCIPLES HAD A DIFFERENT STORY OF TRIUMPH WITHOUT SUFFERING

They had a different story – of triumph for Jesus and defeat for Israel’s enemies – a story that had disintegrated under the pressures of reality. They had the same scriptures, but a different story…

 

 JESUS’ STORY HEALS

BUT Jesus speaks his healing words again softening their hearts, touching their souls and renewing their hope. In the light of Jesus’ story suddenly the facts began to make sense, gradually their vision began to return, reframed and re-orientated and the hope of their hearts was rekindled.

 

WE TOO CAN HAVE THE WRONG STORY

 So often, our stories also collapse. 

 Under the weight of demands and pressures from the world around us, from work, from family and church and sometimes from our own internal pressures to try and secure ourselves a happy future our understanding of the world around us begins to crack.

 In this moment,

 …being a good person doesn’t equal having a happy life.

 In these situations

 …attending church faithfully doesn’t equal spiritual satisfaction.

 Reading the Bible doesn’t seem to help against the pressures we face at work or with study.

 

The old stories no longer work and we can’t find the answer on our own.

 

 WE NEED GOD’S SPIRIT

 It is at these times that we need God’s spirit,

 …Jesus’ voice…

…or perhaps just the voice of an unknown stranger or friend to retell the stories we believe in.

 To take us back to the beginning,

…to reassess the facts

…and to tell the story once again with a different meaning,

 …without the simplistic equations and by doing so give us hope to live again.

 

Sam’s Speech – The Great Stories

 In the film production of The Lord of the Rings there is a touching scene where the hero Frodo Baggins is just about to give up. All around him is bloodshed and war and the powers of evil appear to be overwhelming. Still a long way from the end of their mission and in the heat of the battle, Frodo is overwhelmed by the enormity of the task that lies before him. Losing sight of his own hope and innocence he begins to despair. Having lost hope the powerful attraction of the ring tempts Frodo to abuse its powers and there by give in to the powers of evil. However, Frodo has not travelled alone.

 

 Frodo has a travelling companion and even though evil is all around, his friend is right beside him.

 In a daring leap of courage and bravery Samwise Baggins wrestles Frodo out of the path of danger, risking his own life in doing so. At the last moment Frodo wakes from his stupor and cries out:

 

 Frodo: “I can’t do this, Sam”

 

And Sam, like Jesus, begins to retell Frodo the story. He uses his words to restore hope.

 

Sam: “I know. It’s all wrong. By rights we shouldn’t even be here, but we are.

It’s like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo, the ones that really  mattered – full of darkness and danger they were and sometimes you didn’t want to know the end because how could the end be happy. How could the world go back to how it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end it’s only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come and when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you that meant something, even if you were too small to understand why.  But I think Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now.

Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn’t they kept going because they were holding on to something.”

 

Frodo: “What are holding onto Sam?”

 

Sam: “That there’s something good in this world Mr. Frodo, and it’s worth fighting for.”                                                       

 

SAM, LIKE JESUS, TELLS THE BIGGER STORY

 Like, Jesus and the despairing disciples, Sam tells Frodo that they are part of a story that is much bigger than the small stories of peace and safety without risk they had believed in before they started their journey of discovery. There is RISK and PAIN in this bigger epic, but there is also hopehope of a world worth fighting for. There is faith that there is still something good in this world.

 

 

THE JOURNEY, THE COMPANY + THE STORIES LED TO RENEWED SENSITIVITY + HOPE

 

On the road to Emmaus, the disciples had begun to reawaken to the hope that the crucifixion was not the end of the Messiah. Evening was approaching and they wanted their new found travelling companion to stay with them. Perhaps, they were concerned for his safety. Perhaps, they just longed to spend some more time with this mysterious stranger who had given new hope to their lives on just a few miles walk. Whatever the reason, they asked him to stay with him. The feelings of affection for this man were already kindledeven, if his appearance was, as yet, hidden from them.

 

The rest of the story, we know.     

 

When he was at the table with them, he took bread, gave thanks, broke it and began to give it to them. Then their eyes were opened and they recognized him, and he disappeared from their sight.

 

In an instant, over a rustic meal the disciples’ eyes were opened and the man they had travelled with they suddenly recognized and he disappears.

 

We can only imagine what feelings they had at that time, but I find their response illuminating.

 

‘“Were not our hearts burning within us while he talked with us on the road and opened the Scriptures to us?”’ 

 

The one thing that validated their visionary revelation was the ‘burning of their hearts as he talked’.

 2000 years later,  

…in a different society,

 …in a very different world,

 …visions of Jesus are pretty rare to come by – not impossible, but rare.

 But I love the fact that the disciples could recognise Jesus not just by his face, but by his words. ‘Were not our hearts burning within us…?’ The power of God’s love for us today is often carried to us in words, in stories, words that set our hearts on fire. We are a long way away from the times of Jesus’ life on earth, but the stories of his life still have the power to deeply affect us. These are the stories that we the church tell to encourage each other on the journey. As travellers on a long and sometimes demanding and difficult journey – may we make the time to listen to the stories of old.

May we travel together as companions who need each other

 

…may we have time to listen to each other as friends because every one has a story to tell

 …and may we encourage one another so the burning words of God’s story stir our hearts to hope and love again. So, that when we are ready to get out, to give up…

  …we become transformed to turn around and set off, back to our community and tell them the good news that we have experienced;

 …that Jesus is not dead, but alive…

 

because we met him travelling on the road.

 

 

 

 

by David L Fletcher

Rob Parsons, The Sixty Minute Family

sixty-minute-familyThere are some books which look too thin to be useful, this is not one of them. It says you can read the book in an hour, it took me longer because it made me think.  It is full of good and witty stories.  There are 10 chapters each one looking at a specific issue e.g. Take time to talk, handle conflict effectively. learn to love in January.  Each chapter can be read in isolation and there are helpful action points at the end of each chapter.  You might read the whole book as a family/couple a chapter at a time and then spend an evening talking through the action points.

Good advice, simple, but literally worth it’s weight in gold.  It says on the cover ‘an hour to transform your relationships’ I think you can read the book it that time but to put it into practice will take longer – but this is a great place to start.

Rob Parsons is the Founder of Care for the Family.

Available from all good bookshops, especially The Vine

April 2010